Monday, March 08, 2010

Sometimes Serendipity Pinch Hits for Wisdom

When mom died we'd been living with her and taking care of her for years. This was our home and, after the will was probated, I was half owner of the house with my sister owning the other half. She wants to sell it; we don't. This is still our home. We offered to buy her out, making what we believed was a fair offer. She wanted $15,000 more than we offered. She found a lawyer to take her case and threatened Judicial Partition. Rather than negotiate with her lawyer (as the letter we received strongly suggested) we spoke with the young lawyer who handled the probation of mom's estate/will. Our thought was to have the place inspected and appraised enabling us to approach my sister with an offer based on confirmed reality. He suggested we have the house inspected but hold off on the appraisal. The inspection results show a very large collection of problems with the house, not all of which can be repaired. The inspector suggests we tear the place down and start over and, based on his results, the house is worth substantially less than our previous 'best guess'. My sister is stubborn, willful and not too bright. Bless her heart. I'm so glad she didn't accept out offer. That would have been the beginning of a never-ending nightmare for us. We were saved by serendipitous dumb luck.

I don't think my sister and I will ever get past the enmity this has created between us but I'm betting that one of us will eventually attend the other's funeral. Sometimes that's enough. Life is change; change is good.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Life, Love and the Imminence of Mortality

Aa little over six years ago a close internet friend (close in the ways that are only possible on the internet where there are no pheromones to interfere with our words) was having problems with her significant other. I'd long since decided the man was an insensitive lout who didn't deserve or appreciate her and I was angry over the way he treated her. My anger overcame me a little and I commented that "Your relationship really sucks" to which she instantly responded "So does yours". I was stunned. I got through the rest of the day in a numb haze. By the next day I decided that she was right so I sat down and had a long talk with my wife. After a brief emotional storm she calmed down and admitted to agreeing with my assessment of our relationship. So we separated amicably and that was that.

Not too long thereafter, my internet friend decided that it was time for her to move on as well and Texas was as good a place as any (she was living in Florida at the time). She rented a truck, loaded up her 'stuff' and her dog and drove to Texas. Within nine days of arriving in Texas she had a place of her own, a car and a job.

The woman is Lisa Miller. The dog's name was CeeCee. She and her dog changed my life and rocked my world. Next month, on the 24th of April, Lisa and I will celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary.

A few days ago CeeCee developed some sort of physiological problem which made it difficult for her to stand and walk. The problem came and went, getting a little worse every day, for several days. Yesterday it got bad enough to keep us up with her until about 4 AM this morning when we finally had to get some sleep. At about 8:30 this morning we loaded CeeCee into the van and headed for the Vet's office (Jim Jenson's Cedar Hills Veterinary Clinic in Llano, TX and we highly recommend him). CeeCee died before we got to the clinic. We turned around and drove back home, dug a hole in the back yard, wrapped her in the old quilt that was her bed and buried her.

All morning the orchestra in my head has been playing Ingrid Michaelson's song, Everybody. The lyric line I keep hearing is

Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, everybody wants to be loved

Thank you Lisa, for moving to Texas and changing my life. Thank you for loving me and being someone I love. Thank you CeeCee for playing ball with me, begging me for snacks and being my dog too. I will remember you. I will miss you.